Paralysis Mode Sleeping Positions

You've activated Paralysis Mode. Congratulations!

Recommended Sleeping Positions:

The following positions are guaranteed to induce maximum levels of paralysis:

1. The Fetal Position

Roll up into a ball, like a human burrito. This position guarantees a minimum of 4 hours of paralysis, but may lead to permanent spinal damage.

2. The Sphinx Position

Lay on your back with your arms and legs splayed out to the side, like a giant, human spider. This position is sure to induce 3-5 hours of paralysis.

3. The Catatonic Position

Simply lie on your side, staring blankly into space. This position has a guaranteed 2-4 hours of paralysis, but may lead to permanent eye strain.

4. The Inverted Hamster Position

Curl up into a ball, but with your feet sticking straight up in the air. This position guarantees 1-2 hours of paralysis, but may cause permanent back pain.

Remember:

Paralysis Mode Sleeping Positions are not recommended for anyone with a history of back problems or a fear of permanent paralysis. Use at your own risk!