Paralyzing Techniques for the Clumsy

Welcome, clumsy person! Are you tired of breaking things and getting hurt all the time? Do you struggle with even the simplest tasks, like opening a jar or riding a bike? Well, you've come to the right place! Our expert team of highly trained professionals (just kidding, it's just us) has compiled a list of paralyzing techniques to help you avoid, well, paralyzing yourself.

Here are some of our favorite methods:

• Overcompensation is a bad thing (don't try this at home, kids)
• Stop and smell the roses (literally, we're not kidding)
• Throw caution tape around yourself (just kidding, but seriously, don't try this)
• Pretend you need both hands (for when you really need to type)
• Just pretend you didn't see it (for when you drop something heavy)