Paranoid Predictions
Our Forecasters are on the Edge of Their Seats
We've got the most paranoid predictions in the business. Our team of experts has been scouring the depths of the internet to bring you the most outlandish, the most absurd, the most utterly preposterous forecasts in the world.
Our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated forecasters have predicted:
- That the apocalypse will be delayed until at least 2024 due to unforeseen circumstances involving a global shortage of cat food.
- The rise of the zombie apocalypse will be triggered by a freak accident involving a 3D printer and a batch of artisanal cheeses.
- The discovery of a hidden underwater city off the coast of New Jersey, which will be home to a species of highly intelligent, highly aggressive dolphins.
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