Welcome to Protocol 3, the most essential guide to navigating the treacherous waters of paranoiac protocols. This is the third iteration, and we're not making any promises about its usefulness.
If you've ever found yourself convinced that your toaster is plotting against you, or that aliens are controlling your toaster, you're probably experiencing paranoiac protocol symptoms.
Common symptoms include:
Paranoiac protocols are designed to protect against the most insidious attacks: mind control rays, thought police, and rogue toaster networks.
Defenses include:
When the paranoiac protocols finally take over, you'll be ready. Sort of.
Survival tips include: