Are you tired of living in a world where you can't even trust your toaster? Where your neighbors are watching, your boss is breathing down your neck, and your cat is plotting against you?
Look no further than Protocol 5 of the Paranoid Protocols, where we teach you how to become the most elusive, the most invisible, the most inimitable agent of chaos and disorder the world has ever seen.
Subprotocol 5A: Infiltrating the Local Grocery Store Subprotocol 5B: Mastering the Art of Eavesdropping