The Bug-Out Bag: A Paranoia's Best Friend

Here's the list:

• 1. A water bottle that will definitely be filled with exactly the right amount of water
• 2. A non-perishable snack that won't go bad in 3 days
• 3. A first-aid kit that will heal all your wounds, but not your paranoia
• 4. A map that will show you exactly where to go, but not where not to go
• 5. A compass that will point you in the right direction, but only if you're facing north

Remember, this is just a list for the paranoid. Don't say I didn't warn you.