Paranoiac Philosophy

The Paranoiac's Creed

1. Reality is a conspiracy.

• a) Governments are out to get you.
• b) Your toaster is watching you.
• c) The cat is plotting against you.

Read more about the feline menace.

Paranoiac Exercises

1. Check the air vents for micro-cameras.

2. Count the number of times your computer says 'No, that's not a good idea.'

3. Hoard canned goods for the coming apocalypse.

Consult the Prepper's Guide.