Paranoid Tips

Tip 1: Check Your Doors

Make sure to check your doors before locking them. You never know when a ninja will sneak in.

Ninja-Proofing Tips

Tip 2: Stock up on Toilet Paper

Always assume someone is out to get you.

Invest in a good quality tin foil hat.

Never trust anyone, especially your neighbors, who may be secretly plotting against you.

Keep a stash of emergency granola bars, they're good for both sustenance and projectiles.

Learn basic self-defense moves, like how to properly use your umbrella as a shield.

Keep a backup power source, like a portable generator, in case your neighbors try to cut off your power.

Bug Out Bag Tips Tin Foil for Sale Umbrella Defense Training Emergency Granola Bar Stockpile

Additional Resources:

Paranoid Substacks