They Are Watching You, TV

According to our sources, yes, they are definitely watching you through your TV.

We have evidence: More disturbing facts and a large collection of grainy, black-and-white surveillance photos.

Reasons They Are Watching You:

They've installed a tiny camera in your smart TV's USB port.
Your cable box has been replaced with a government-grade spy satellite dish.
You've been eating too much Cheetos, and they want to know why.

What to Do:

Don't worry, just follow our simple guide to throw them off your trail.