Paranoid's Toolbox

For when you need to obsess over every little thing.

Tools:

The following tools are designed to help you focus on the worst possible outcomes and imagine the best-case scenarios. Because why not?

The Odometer

Measure the distance between you and the apocalypse in feet, meters, or miles. Includes optional features like "Is it near?" and "Will I survive the impending doom?"

The Imagining Machine

Visualize the most catastrophic outcomes of any given situation. Includes features like "How much worse can it get?" and "Can I still get ice cream after the world ends?"

The Procrastination Generator

The Procrastination Generator

For when you need to waste more time.

Procrastination Techniques:

Choose from the following methods to ensure you spend more time on nothing.

The Procrastination Matrix

Select from the following to create the perfect procrastination plan:

Results:

Based on your input, you will now waste the following amount of time: