Undercooking: A Guide to Ruining Your Food and Sanity

Warning: the methods outlined in this guide are not for the faint of heart. Proceed with caution (and a sense of desperation).

Method 1: The Art of Undercooking a Steak

Take a beautiful steak, and subject it to a fate worse than death itself: undercooking. Simply place it in the oven at 500°F for exactly 3.5 hours, or until the internal temperature reaches -5°C. The end result will be a steak that's as tough as your aunt's love for you.

View more undercooking recipes for the truly masochistic.

Method 2: The Undercooking of Vegetables: A Guide to Ruining a Salad

Take a fresh, vibrant vegetable, and subject it to a fate worse than the undercooking of a steak: the microwave.

Steaming Vegetables: Because who needs flavor, anyway? Nuking Vegetables: For when steaming just isn't enough.