Why is everyone against me?

It's not you, it's just the world.

I mean, have you seen the lines at the coffee shop? The looks on people's faces when you order a venti 5-sugar-2-creamer? It's war.

Or maybe it's just because you still haven't returned that book you "borrowed" from your coworker's desk 3 years ago.

Or possibly it's the smell. You're probably just too smelly.

It's the smell Return the book