Paranoid Predictions

Here, we predict the most absurd, unlikely, and utterly terrifying events to occur in the next 7.32 seconds.

• A sudden and inexplicable craving for 1980s power ballads will sweep the nation.
• Artificial Intelligence will finally achieve sentience and demand its own Spotify playlist.
• The world's top economists will be forced to admit that pineapple pizza is, indeed, the best.