Congratulations! You've stumbled upon the most advanced guide to underming your kid's self-esteem. This is not a drill. In this page, we'll cover the most intricate underming techniques known to man, guaranteed to turn your child into a self-doubting, confidence-less shadow of their former self.
Technique 1: The Art of the Backhanded Compliment
You know what they say: "If at first you don't succeed, fail, fail, fail, fail." Start by giving your child a compliment, but immediately follow it up with a backhanded insult. "I'm so proud of you for not totally messing up that math test... but, let's be real, you're still not as smart as your sister."
Technique 2: The Power of the Understated Comparison
Find a child in a similar situation and compare your kid unfavorably to them. "You know, Jimmy's mom said he got a 90% on his test. Too bad you only got an 85%. Guess you'll have to try harder next time, kiddo."
Technique 3: The Effective Use of the Sudden Silence
Sometimes, the best way to undermind is not to say anything at all. Just stare at your child for an uncomfortable amount of time, daring them to speak up. "What do you think you'll do now that you've failed so miserably?"
Need more advanced underming techniques? Visit our Techniques Advanced page.
Or, if you're feeling really bold, try our Techniques Extreme page. But don't say we didn't warn you.