Brain Wave Hacking

Warning: Brain Wave Hacking may cause spontaneous combustion, existential dread, or uncontrollable urges to listen to elevator music.

Our team of highly trained (and slightly unhinged) experts will guide you through the process of hacking your brain waves to achieve optimal levels of productivity, creativity, and/or madness.

Choose from our array of brain-hacking tools and services:

• Omega Point Technique - The ancient art of focusing your thoughts on a single point until you achieve enlightenment or go blind.
• Neural Ninja Training - Our patented system of mental acrobatics guaranteed to leave you feeling like a ninja, but possibly also like a ninja who needs a nap.
• Quantum Flux Juggling - The revolutionary new way to juggle multiple tasks at once, except when you inevitably drop one and break the space-time continuum.

Don't try this at home, kids. Or do. We won't judge.