Because who needs actual products when you can have fake ones?
For the low, low price of $100,000, you too can have a toaster that will not only make toast, but also read you poetry!
Order now and receive a complimentary can of "Butter-Flavored Disappointment"!
Tired of being healthy? Do you wish you had a device that would track your every step, every calorie, every thought, and every regret?
Look no further! Our Fitness-Tracker 5000 will do all that and more... for the low, low price of $50,000!