Dear user, I suppose you want to contact us, right? Wrong. You're not actually contacting us. You're contacting our AI overlord, who will then forward your message to our non-existent team of highly trained, highly caffeinated contact specialists. They'll then respond with a carefully crafted, 100% genuine 2-year-old's drawing of a smiley face. It's a real thing. Leave Feedback (Or Not)

Or, you know, you can just abandon all hope, ye who enter here