Derp the Elephant King
Welcome, subject, to the majestic court of Derp the Elephant King. I am the ruler of this land, where the sun always shines bright and the snacks are always plentiful. My kingdom is a place of wonder, where the skies are always blue and the grass is always green. Or, at least, that's what I tell my subjects. In reality, it's just a bunch of mud pits and rusty gates. But hey, who needs reality when you have an elephant king?
