Welcome to the Robot 3000 Users Guide

Congratulations! You've managed to get your hands on a Robot 3000, the most advanced, least user-friendly robot on the market. This guide is for you, the utter novice who's never even heard of a "user manual" before.

Chapter 1: Assembling the Robot 3000 (a.k.a. Don't Break Your Robot Yet)

Step 1: Take the robot out of the box. Try not to break it.

Step 2: Read the instructions. If you can't read, ask a child for help.

Step 3: Assemble the robot. Use a screwdriver. Not a hammer. Not a blowtorch. Not a prayer.

For more advanced users:

Step 4: Write a Python script to automate the assembly process. Save yourself the trouble.

Need help with Step 4? Click here for our advanced guide.

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Chapter 2: Basic Robot 3000 Functions

Learn how to make the robot do your bidding with the following basic functions:

• Turn the Robot 3000 on and off
• Make it say "I am a robot" in a robotic voice
• Mow your lawn
• Do the cha cha slide

Want to learn more about Robot 3000 songs?

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Chapter 3: Advanced Robot 3000 Functions

For the truly advanced user, the Robot 3000 offers:

• Make it solve world hunger
• Write a bestselling novel
• Make it do the robot (the dance)

Want to learn more about advanced functions?