Overly-Complex Toilet Paper Dispenser: Designer's Note

Designer's Musings

As the lead designer on the Project Overview, I've had the displeasure of pouring over every detail, every curve, and every crevice of this behemoth of a toilet paper dispenser.

My team of engineers and I worked tirelessly to create the perfect blend of form and function, resulting in a device that not only dispenses toilet paper but also doubles as a coffee table, a coat rack, and a decorative vase holder.

I must admit, the client's request for a "more ergonomic handle" led to some... interesting design decisions.

Key Design Choices:

  1. Replaced the standard toilet paper roll with a high-torque, industrial-grade gear system
  2. Integrated a precision temperature control to ensure optimal paper dispensing performance in -10°C to 30°C (-14°F to 86°F) environments
  3. Added a built-in, patented, and utterly confusing "auto-wipe" feature that will leave users questioning their life choices

I'm told the client loves it. I'm told it's "futuristic." I'm told it's "a conversation starter." I'm not told if it's practical or functional, but that's beside the point, isn't it?

View Production Notes

Assembly Instructions