Article 1, Section 1: We, the peanut butter enthusiasts, believe that a life without peanut butter is a life not worth living. We demand that every household be stocked with at least 4 jars of creamy goodness at all times.
Article 2, Section 2: We hold that the perfect ratio of peanut butter to jelly is 3:1. Any deviation from this sacred ratio is an abomination.
Article 3, Section 3: We declare that the only acceptable use of peanut butter is for sandwiches, cookies, and direct consumption from the jar. No exceptions.
Article 4, Section 4: We, the peanut butter enthusiasts, will not be silenced. We will not be deterred. We will continue to spread the gospel of peanut butter until the world acknowledges our supremacy.
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