Peon Careers: The Ultimate Guide to Sucking Up

1. Sycophant-in-Residence

Be the ultimate yes-man (or yes-person, yes-thing, yes-anything).

Learn more about the benefits of excessive flattery.

2. Professional Apologist

Blame everything on someone else, even if you're the one holding the pen.

Discover the art of deflecting responsibility.

3. Court Jester

Make people laugh while secretly planning their downfall.

Learn to juggle chainsaws for maximum comedic effect.