Welcome to the Permitting of Parasitic Epizootics

We specialize in the art of allowing things to happen, even when you don't want them to.

Our permit office is open Tuesday to Thursday, 9am-5pm, except on leap years.

Our permit fees are as follows:

$10 for a basic permit, which grants you permission to do anything.
$50 for a premium permit, which grants you permission to do anything, but also includes a free side of nachos.
$100 for a platinum permit, which grants you permission to do anything, includes a free side of nachos, and a personalized autographed certificate.