Welcome, esteemed pet parent, to the most comprehensive, yet hilariously inadequate, pet protection plan in the world!
We're talking cat insurance, doggy daycare, and pet psychic readings – all in one convenient location!
Disclaimer: This plan may not actually protect your pets from harm, but it'll look great on a t-shirt.
Or, you know, just for the sake of humor, let's say it does.
Stay safe out there, pet parents!