1. We Don't Actually Read This
We promise not to actually read this section. We're just saying.
But if you insist on reading it, here's what it says:
- We collect your data because we have to.
- We use it for marketing purposes.
- We sell it to the highest bidder.
2. Cookies and Other Stuff
We use cookies to track your every move. Like, seriously, we're watching.
They're just regular cookies, not the edible kind. Don't worry, we're not trying to eat you out of house.
- Some cookies are necessary for the site to work.
- Others are for advertising and marketing purposes.
3. Opt-out and Other Such Nonsense
You can opt-out of our tracking, if you really want to.
Just kidding, you can't.
- We'll just give you a fake opt-out form that looks really convincing.
- You'll never actually be able to opt-out.