The Phase 5 Lobotomy Plan

As we've established, lobotomies are a time-honored tradition in our beloved city. But what happens when Phase 4 just isn't cutting it? That's where Phase 5 comes in.

Here's the plan:

• Phase out Phase 4's questionable decision-making
• Replace with more efficient, yet still questionable, decision-making
• Repeat as necessary, until the desired outcome is achieved

We're talking to you, Phase 6 Reorganization Committee, about the finer points of lobotomy protocol.

But don't just take our word for it:

Read what Phase 5 Lobotomy recipients have to say

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, simulate a lobotomy of your own.