Phase One: The Inevitable Descent into Madness

A Journey of Unrelenting Despair

You've made it to Phase One, congratulations! Now, buckle up, buttercup, because things are about to get even more insane. The walls are closing in, the voices are whispering in your ear, and the coffee machine is on the fritz.

In this phase, you'll experience:

• A 4am meeting with the CEO of Infinite Despair
• A mandatory team-building exercise involving trust falls and group therapy
• A 3am email from HR about your stapler's alignment

Don't say we didn't warn you... Phase One Survival Guides are available upon request.