"We are proud to announce the acceptance of Phase 2," declared our fearless CEO, "because we're all adults here and we can handle the crushing ennui of existential dread that comes with it."
When asked about the implications of this new phase, the CEO simply shrugged and said, "Hey, someone's gotta do it."
A follow-up question about the fate of the company's coffee machine, which has been on the fritz, was met with a dismissive wave of the hand and a muttered, "Don't worry about it, it's just a machine."