It has come to our attention, that a snack bar in the heart of the Snack Universe has reached an existential crisis.
The once-thriving snack haven, known for its eclectic assortment of 3D printed Doritos and artisanal kale chips, has been plagued by a series of bizarre occurrences.
We have received reports of:
It is our decision, as the Snack Council, that the snack bar must be shut down until further notice.
We will, however, provide the following options for the snack bar's future:
We will keep you updated on the developments in this snack bar's saga.