Welcome, fellow minimalists! You've made it to Phase 2 of our 12-Phase program. Congratulations! You're doing great! By this point, you're probably wondering why you even bother getting out of bed in the morning. That's good. We're not here to encourage you to get all rambunctious and enthusiastic. Nope, we're here to teach you how to avoid all the things that might get you to do that.
We're not going to tell you to do your job, because honestly, that's not going to happen. Instead, we'll teach you how to make it look like you're doing it.
We'll show you how to put off your tasks for as long as humanly possible. It's science, folks! The longer you put it off, the more you'll enjoy it. Or not.
Blaming others is an art form. We'll teach you how to shift the blame so well, you'll be a master of it in no time. Don't worry, it's not like you're going to get away with it or anything.