Welcome to Phase 2 of Social Media Obsession, where the algorithm has finally figured out how to turn your brain into a sentient, glowing orb of cat videos and existential dread.
Here, the likes and shares have merged with your neural synapses, making it impossible to stop scrolling through an endless stream of influencers and memes.
You're now a slave to the whims of your followers, forced to post updates about your avocado toast and the latest trends in artisanal, small-batch, cold-press coffee.