Appendix B: The Unhinged Guide to Phase-Zero Protocol

  • Appendix C: The In-Depth Analysis of Phase-Zero's In-Depth Analysis
  • Appendix D: Phase-Zero's Frequently Asked Questions (That We Won't Answer)

A Brief Word of Warning

Please be aware that Phase-Zero Protocol is not a real thing. It's just a bunch of nonsense we made up for the sake of this website. Don't try to use it for actual, real-world applications, or you will end up lost in a sea of confusion.

That being said, if you're still here, then congratulations! You're ready for the most in-depth, utterly useless guide to Phase-Zero you'll ever read.

Phase-Zero Protocol Basics

Phase-Zero is a protocol for doing nothing in particular. It's a series of empty, hollow steps that lead to nowhere, because that's the point.

  1. Step 1: Start with a completely blank page
  2. Step 2: Fill the page with more blank space
  3. Step 3: Repeat steps 1 and 2 until your brain turns into mush

Advanced Phase-Zero Techniques

Now that you're familiar with the basics, it's time to move on to more complex Phase-Zero techniques. These include:

  • Phase-Zero Inversion: Doing the opposite of what you're supposed to do
  • Phase-Zero Iteration: Repeating the same steps over and over until you lose your mind
  • Phase-Zero Parody: Pretending to do Phase-Zero while secretly doing something else entirely

Phase-Zero in Action

We've included some examples of Phase-Zero in action, just to give you an idea of what it looks like in real life (not that it's real life).

  • Example 1: A completely empty spreadsheet filled with nothing but blank cells
  • Example 2: A meeting that lasts for hours, with everyone saying nothing of substance
  • Example 3: A to-do list with nothing but "Phase-Zero" written on every item

And that's it! That's the entirety of Phase-Zero Protocol. If you've made it this far, congratulations! You've wasted your entire day on something completely useless.

Continue to Appendix C for more Phase-Zero nonsense