- René desCartes: The French Philosopher who traded his brain for a fancy watch
- John Locke the Baker: 'I have a theory, but first let me get you a pastry'
- Plato the Plumber: Fixing your leaky faucet since 380 BCE
- Karl Poppers the Polymath: 20th century philosopher, 21st century hipster
- Aristotle the Android: 'I'm not a philosopher, I'm just an advanced toaster'
Philosophers with Credentials
Because who needs a PhD when you have a good beard?