Welcome, seeker of the esoteric and connoisseur of the obvious. You've stumbled upon the hallowed halls of the Pretentious Philosophy of Reduction, where the uninitiated are not welcome.
In this esteemed academy, we distill the complexities of life into a simple, yet elegantly obtuse, framework. It's all about cutting the fat, shedding the extraneous, and reducing the essence to its most refined and pretentious form.
Our patron saint, the great Reductionius Maximus, once said, "The only thing that truly matters is the thing that matters most." And by 'matters most,' he meant the thing that matters least.
To truly comprehend the Pretentious Philosophy of Reduction, one must be willing to sacrifice all sense of humor, all sense of perspective, and all sense of self-awareness. It's a steep price to pay, but the rewards are...well, they're not exactly what you'd call 'rewarding.'
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