Distract and Delete: Phone Hacking Techniques

Warning: The following methods are not recommended for actual phone hacking. They're for entertainment purposes only.

Method 1: The Classic Distract and Delete

Step 1: Call your friend's mom and pretend to be a telemarketer.

Step 2: Keep talking for at least 30 minutes, using the following phrases:

Step 3: When they finally hang up, pretend you're still on the line and say:

"Wait, wait, I have to call you back about something else."

Or, for an advanced move, try:

Step 1: Create a fake identity as a 911 dispatcher.

Step 2: Call your target and claim a random person in their family is in distress.

Step 3: Use a fake background noise to create tension (e.g., a siren, a cat meowing, etc.).

Step 4: End the call with a dramatic reading of your fake script:

"...and that's when I lost contact with your cousin's parrot, Mr. Johnson. I repeat, Mr. Johnson, your cousin's parrot is MIA."

Step 1: Set up a fake auto-texting service with a random number.

Step 2: Send a series of increasingly absurd texts, such as:

"URGENT: Your pineapple pizza is on its way."

"I just saw your ex's new haircut and it's...different."

Step 3: Wait for your mark to respond, then respond with another text.

Step 4: Continue this process until they're convinced you're a sentient AI gone rogue.