Welcome, phone-thrower, to the most comprehensive collection of phone-throwing techniques, safety tips, and therapy sessions for those who have reached a boiling point with their smartphone.
The world is too much with us, and our phones are too much with the world.
Phone Throwing Techniques
1. The Classic Toss: A timeless, straightforward method where you simply throw your phone.
2. The Sneak Attack: A more stealthy approach where you hide behind a nearby object and launch.
3. The Distract-A-Toss: Distract your friends or family while you make a break for it.
Phone Safety Precautions
Always wear protective gear: a helmet, safety glasses, and a face mask.
Be aware of your surroundings: phone-throwing can be hazardous to bystanders.
Don't aim at windows or mirrors: you might end up with more than just a phone.
Phone Throwing Therapy Sessions
Our licensed phone-throwing therapists are here to help you work through your issues.
Choose from:
1. The Anger-Management Throwdown
2. The Relationship-Rebuilding Toss
3. The Existential Crisis Launch