The Twirling Toss: A Phone Throwing Technique for the Discerning Gentleman

A Brief History

Legend has it that the twirling toss, a delicate yet devastating phone throwing technique, originated in the 1920s in Paris, where a group of stylish aristocrats would use their fine china to shatter the monotony of high-society gatherings.

The Technique

1. Hold the phone firmly but gently, like a precious gemstone, with your thumb on the back and your index finger on the front.

2. Twirl it around your head, feeling the phone's weight and balance, like a prima ballerina with a particularly delicate partner.

3. As you twirl, focus your thoughts on the precise point of impact, like a marksman taking aim at a distant target.

4. Release the phone, letting it sail through the air, a tiny, shining projectile, leaving a trail of shattered glass and broken dreams behind.

Advanced Theory

Throwing While Drunken