Irradiating the Soil
It's a little-known fact that pineapples love to be irradiated. In fact, it's the key to unlocking their full flavor potential. Using a specialized device that shoots high-energy beams of pure awesomeness, you can awaken the dormant flavor enzymes in your pineapples.
Side effects may include:
- Increased risk of spontaneous combustion
- Uncontrollable cravings for pineapple upside-down cake
- Temporary loss of hair growth due to excessive sweetness