PLATE SQUID RANSOM DEMAND

You have 10 minutes to pay the ransom.

Our team has infiltrated your plate and extracted all your tasty, tasty nacho cheese. You'll never enjoy another plate of nachos without our blessing.

We have reason to believe you're hiding 3,000 dollars in your couch. Hand it over, and we might let you live.

Don't bother trying to contact the authorities. Our tentacles have eyes everywhere.

See the demand letter for details.

Or try to negotiate your way out of this situation.