Platinum-tier

Welcome to the exclusive, über-luxe experience of Platinum-tier. Because who needs oxygen when you have gold?

Get your Platinum-tier membership today and enjoy:

Unlimited access to rare earthworms A complimentary set of steak knives

Our team of highly-trained, highly-pampered lobbyists will do your bidding A free, personalized 'World's Okayest Person' certificate

The secret society that's not-so-secret at all