Why Bother Contacting Us, Really?

We're not really sure. We're a highly advanced, highly automated system of servers, wires, and slightly-better-than-average code.

But hey, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, you can try reaching out to us at [email address that will probably just bounce your message] or give us a call at [a payphone that will just play hold music].

Or, if you're feeling particularly crafty, you can try sending us a carrier pigeon at [our physical address, which is just a mailbox with a bunch of trash in it].

Other Ways to Waste Your Time:

Learn more about the existential dread that is this website

Donate to our completely-not-a-fundraiser, because we're not actually going to use the money for anything