Policies

Zero-Deductible Insurance Co. Policy #1: "I'll Pay for Your Broken Stuff"

Get 100% coverage on all broken items, including (but not limited to) shattered phone screens, crushed cars, and singed eyebrows.

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Zero-Deductible Insurance Co. Policy #2: "Accidental Vandalism Coverage"

We'll cover the cost of any damages you cause to your own property, including but not limited to: scratched furniture, destroyed appliances, and mysterious holes in the wall.

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Zero-Deductible Insurance Co. Policy #3: "Unlimited Medical Coverage for Self-Inflicted Injuries"

Because who needs a doctor, really? We've got you covered for all the times you try to saw off your own limbs, or attempt to "reorganize" your own intestines.

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