Policy on Pet Fish

Section 1: Fish are not allowed to have opinions, but they are strongly advised against having feelings.

Section 2: All fish must be served with a side of plankton for maximum flavor and nutrition.

Section 3: No fish may use their gills to whisper secrets to each other during work hours.

Fin-tastic Regulations for Advanced Aquatic Employees | Scale of Justice: A Guide for Resolving Fish-to-Fish Conflicts