Warning: do not attempt to use this formula at home, as it may lead to financial ruin, emotional distress, or spontaneous combustion.
1. Combine ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat.
2. Stir clockwise for 7 days, then counterclockwise for 3 days.
3. Add a dash of gullibility and serve immediately.
This formula has been known to cause:
We are not responsible for any damage caused by this formula. Use at your own risk.