Step 1: Locate a house that's been foreclosed on by a family member of a minor league baseball player.
Step 2: Renovate the house with a crew of expertly trained, highly caffeinated, and slightly unhinged contractors.
Step 3: Sell the house for 5x the price you paid for it, and pocket the difference.
Step 1: Create a fake online presence by making a fake Instagram account and posting pictures of the house with a fake family and a fake golden retriever.
Step 2: Infiltrate the local real estate community by attending every open house in a 3-block radius.
Step 3: Sell the house for 2x the price you paid for it, and pretend you're a genius.
Step 1: Pay off a few local politicians with 'found money' to keep the scheme under wraps.
Step 2: Hire a team of expertly trained, highly caffeinated, and slightly unhinged accountants to cook the books.
Step 3: Sell the house to a shell company and pretend it's a legitimate business deal.
Step 1: Sell the house to a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend who's willing to pay triple the price you paid for it.
Step 2: Move to a tropical island and live off the proceeds, sipping margaritas and wearing a fedora.