Welcome, suckers! We're the ones who brought you the "We Promise You'll Make a Fortune!" scheme. And by "fortune," we mean the minimum wage job you'll have to work three jobs to afford our "guaranteed investment opportunity."
Our Ponzi scheme is built on trust and a strong stomach, because you'll be eating nothing but ramen noodles and dreams for the foreseeable future!
We're not just a scam, we're a lifestyle!
Don't forget to read the fine print, or you'll be eating nothing but ramen noodles... and regret.
Our scheme is a Ponzi Scheme 101 course, and we're offering a special discount for first-time suckers... er, customers!