Being on Time: The Utterly Unattainable Dream

Because who needs punctuality, anyway?

Our team of expert procrastinators has compiled a list of the top 5 excuses for being late:

• Faking an emergency
• Lying about an emergency
• Just not showing up
• Getting lost in a sea of cat videos
• Accidentally supergluing one's shoes to the floor

Side Effects of Chronic Lateness

Warning: being late can have serious consequences, including:

• Spilling coffee on your shirt and staining it
• Getting yelled at by your boss
• Missing out on free donuts
• Developing a permanent case of the Mondays
• Having to listen to elevator music for an extra 10 minutes
• Forgetting your lunch
• Having to endure small talk
• Being late to your own therapy sessions