Throwing Harpoons at the World: The Art of Precision Projection

A Guide for the Aspiring Harpoons Master

Harpoons are not just for whales, folks. With practice and dedication, anyone can master the ancient art of precision projection.

Start by finding a suitable throwing stick. We recommend a sturdy branch with a smooth, aerodynamic curve.

Next, locate your target. In the wild, this is usually a nearby rock or unsuspecting tourist. In the studio, it's a papier-m'âché mannequin.

Stand at a 45 degree angle to your target, then take aim. The key to success is a smooth, practiced motion, like a perfectly calibrated harpoon.

Don't be discouraged if you miss the mark. With patience and persistence, you'll be throwing harpoons like a pro in no time!

For more advanced techniques, visit our subpage on Harpoon Sophistry.

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try our experimental Harpoon Surfing subpage.