Transcripts of our most recent press conferences, because who needs actual answers when you can just make stuff up?
Here's the latest from our esteemed CEO, Bob "The Bull" Smith:
Q: What's the deal with the new "Blerp" product line?
A: Oh, that's just a codename. We're actually just rebranding our old product line, but with more "blep" in it.
Q: Will there be more "Blerp" products?
A: Absolutely. We've got a whole line of them. Blerp 2.0, Blerp 3.0, Blerp 4.0... You get the idea.
Q: What's next for Blerp?
A: We're thinking of releasing a Blerp-themed coffee shop. Because who doesn't love the taste of disappointment and confusion in their morning cup of coffee?