We're thrilled to announce that after 3 years of trying, we've finally managed to fix the wonky toaster in our break room. No more burnt offerings, no more singed eyebrows!
We'd like to extend our gratitude to our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated, and slightly bemused engineers who toiled away for months to resolve this pressing issue. May their names be forever etched in the annals of company history!
As a token of our appreciation, we're offering a complimentary "I fixed the toaster" t-shirt to anyone who can prove they were present during the 3-year-long ordeal.